Never Again (?)

Written in September 2007

Never Again (?)
Yesterday I went to Stanford Hospital for a series of tests, six months after my deep brain surgery…

The surgery was really “deep brain”, it took over my motor brain functions and gave me back my ability to tie a shoe lace, close a button and I even have the ability to sew a button… my morale came back and I am constantly amazed at the miracle I am witnessing…

My tremor stopped and I am getting closer and closer to normalcy…

As part of the testing the deep brain generator was turned off… yes I was advised … but to witness the effects was devastating…

Some half a minute after the generator was turned off my left hand started to shake, my legs were feeling weak… but I said to myself I’ll do it, I know how it feels, I’ve done it before… so I tried walking to the bus stop and take the shuttle bus to the Hotel… but as I limped to my destination, shaking and all… I started getting scared…

I was scared that I would not be able to get back to normal… and the depression was deep… I had to calculate the number of steps I could take before I reached the next tree (to hold)… it all came back, the limping, the shaking, the fear of ending like I was before…

So I called the Hospital and went back (with the bus) and had the generator switched back on…

It took less than five minutes for my shaking to stop and my mobility to return to normal, or should I say

RETURN TO NORMAL…

Amen