Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Feelings

Feelings


When I think back about my feelings a few years ago when the only thing that I cared for was my apathy… It was a way for me to escape… escape from my shame… from the bum I was becoming…
I remember one November calling Gal and telling her I was unable to come for Thanksgiving because I was intoxicated… and going to the Public Shelter for the holiday… I was seeing myself totally becoming a street based homeless… from picking cigarette butts and smoking them… to panhandling… and sleeping by the railroad tracks… and I totally lacked the willpower to get out of this vortex I was getting into…

How did I get out of this… I draw a total blank… I remember instances… and I could write a few more pages on how I felt… but I totally lack the desire of doing so…
Thanks to the Neuro Surgical team at Stanford… and my determination to go back to an earlier commitment…
A commitment to be a father to my daughters… a grandfather to my grandchildren… and a loving friend to all of you…

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